When Going It Alone Gets Rough:

Finding Help for Everyday Tasks

If you are dealing with illness, disability or just not able to do what you once did, then you might be ready to ask for help in dealing with everyday tasks such as shopping, transportation, housekeeping, and laundry. But who and how do you ask for help?

Asking for help can be difficult if you’ve been able to manage independently up till now or if you feel reluctant to burden family or friends. But keep in mind that most people are happy to do what they can.

Here are some suggestions on how to find the help you need:

Ask a neighbor. When asking a neighbor for help, you want to be sure your request is do-able. Asking a neighbor to add a few items to a shopping list on occasion is probably reasonable but asking for weekly rides to the market might be more than your neighbor can offer. Asking for help with annual chores might be fine but it’s probably unlikely your neighbor can offer assistance on a routine and frequent basis.

Contact a faith group in your area. Many congregations and churches offer help through volunteers to their members as well as to individuals living in the community. You might find a volunteer can come to your home for a few hours each week or each month. Keep in mind that help is available depending on how many volunteers are available or can meet your request. If you are not successful on the first try, then phone another faith group or call back in a few months.

Learn if you qualify for home care services. Contact a local home health agency, senior center, geriatric case management service, or United Way office to learn if you are eligible for services in your community.

Barter for help. Can you offer something in return for the help you need? Maybe you could baby-sit for a young mom in exchange for a ride to the doctor’s appointment or maybe you could make a casserole in exchange for help with a light chore?

Hire for services. If you do decide to hire for services, then proceed carefully. You can find people through newspaper ads but be aware you need to screen and interview people to determine their reliability and honesty. By hiring through an agency, you will pay a higher fee but are likely to have peace of mind about who is coming through your door.

If you want to bypass an agency, then try finding someone who is known through your circle of family and friends.

Make a list of those who do offer their help. Sometimes we overlook the people most available and willing to help. If someone offers to help, then ask that person what they are willing to do, and within what time constraints. If someone offers a ride to the mall once every two weeks, accept it and then start looking for someone else who can get you to the doctor’s office. If you are specific about the kind of help you need and the time needed to accomplish your task then people will be able to make a good evaluation of their ability to fulfill your need.

In conclusion, most people want to lend a helping hand but it’s important to ask people for assistance in a way that makes it easy for them to fulfill your request. Be specific about what you, how often you need their help, and what options you are exploring. By setting out your requests in a clear and forthright manner, you will likely find that more people than you might have imagined will be ready to lend a helping hand.

And don’t forget, the best reward for most helpers is a sincere “thank you” with a big smile and maybe a few dollars for gas or a home-baked treat or handwritten card. In following these steps, you can gracefully accept and request the help you need.

 

 

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